Friday, April 18, 2014

Culture Shock

Now that we’ve been here in China almost 2 years, a new wave of culture shock has (temporarily, I hope!) washed over me. In our initial months here, there was the obvious: not speaking the language, different level of public hygiene, squattie potties, different foods and smells, different driving/biking road rules, getting started at work, not knowing the social cues and expectations, etc.

Though there is still a lot to learn in all of those areas, we have become much more accustomed to the things that bothered us so much when we first arrived. We have been studying Chinese and can have simple conversations with neighbors and business people and we know where to shop for the foods we like to have. We’ve made friends and gotten involved in various homeschooling co-ops, our church community, small group, and neighbors. The children have a lot of friends to play with and that has made all the difference for the whole family.

I would say that overall we are faring well and looking forward with hope. But, from what we have read and heard, culture shock comes in different phases and hits harder at times. I, Laurel, am currently struggling with some of those emotions despite still feeling optimistic about living in China.

We are planning to come home to the US for the summer and are all very excited about seeing everyone and being surrounded by our countrymen and native language. But, I do hold some sadness in my heart that we are just visiting. Our home is here in China, though we are not from here. We have made it home and know that we will likely remain here for a number of years, but it isn’t exactly “ours.” America birthed me and I grew up digging in her soil, running across her suburban yards, and biking through her streets. My family, friends, and neighbors taught me my mother tongue and gave me my culture. In adulthood I served in America’s armed forces in her defense against all enemies, foreign and domestic.

This summer we will return, visitors to our homeland, not really “home,” but living out of suitcases. We will soak up all we can of Benjamin Franklin’s library legacy and regular visits to a good deli for pastrami on rye, but there won’t be time to sign up for ballet lessons or baseball as we are only there a short time, traveling from place to place, visiting our loved ones. I have realized that my children’s experience growing up will be so very different from “back home,” and while that is inevitable, there are times when I am saddened by it even though they get to learn Chinese from a very young age.

The daily experience of living in China is also quite different. Though I have gotten used to hang-drying our laundry, our loud and temperamental washing machine has begun to grate on my nerves. Some neighbors complained about the noise it made during the 12 noon to 3 pm “resting time,” so if I don’t get the load in early enough, I am off track for the day with planning ahead how much I can wash and hang dry in time to get the next load done and put away. Calling a repairman is an option, but after my experience with calling in professionals to “fix” things, I am quite leery. Duct tape and other jury-rigging tends to be the way most things are handled here and I’m just not satisfied with that type of “help” in some situations. So, for now I am working on keeping the laundry schedule going so as not to interrupt rest time. And, Jason is an emerging handy man and proud new owner of a soldering iron, which we needed to fix our big transformer that we use to run our US Kitchen Aid mixer. I’m thankful for that transformer not just because it lets me mix in style, but also because it sits atop our refrigerator that is missing a front foot and leans forward when you open the door. That transformer is a nice, heavy counterweight that keeps the fridge from doing that annoying tip! Win win!

In the past 4 weeks, internet connectivity has been quite awful, preventing us from streaming much of anything and generally being a nuisance when trying to check email or get any sort of work done on a website that does not originate within China. (Example: Can't get any pictures uploaded to put with this post, so all text this time around) For a number of weeks, even the in-country sites were terribly slow. Though connectivity has improved bit by bit, it is very spotty and unreliable and has been a source of distress for me. Realizing how much we depend on the internet for so many things (banking, communication, work, homeschooling, entertainment) is a bit distressing, but the added discomfort of feeling “stuck” in a strange land without that connection makes it all the more poignant. Chinese sites have begun to resume at a regular pace and we have been able to keep up with episodes of US shows on the not-concerned-about-copyright websites that post entire seasons, so that’s the upside!

Jason remarked to me that our lives as expats who only visit the homeland reminds us even more clearly that our citizenship is not here on earth, but above. This truly is my ultimate comfort, and for now I am thankful for the friends the Lord has put into our lives here in Chengdu to be a temporal connection that reminds us we are not alone here on Earth or above in Heaven.

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